I like to know what the rules are.

One of the things that made Christianity hurt before was that all too often, I didn't know what the rules were. For some lines in the Bible there are too many interpretations and not enough agreement.

There are legalistic interpretations that stretch a line of scripture as far as it will go across your daily life. There are interpretations so literal they boggle the mind, and others so metaphorical they boil themselves down to surreal philosophy.

Take the apostle Paul's statements on women's role in the Church. "I do not permit a woman to teach" is ambiguous due to its wording- "I do not permit". That's well for you, Paul, but I follow Jesus, not you. I'm okay with women not being allowed to teach scripture, but I do not like the ambiguity. The polarizing readings of the line prove that its meaning is not clear.

Take it further. Paul takes it further in 1 Corinthians 14 by saying that women should be silent in church. Now women aren't talking at all. He says it would be "disgraceful" for women to speak in the church.

a) Again, if it is the rule I accept it, but does this mean a woman can't be involved in a church service at all? Where does it stop, how far does it go? What about singing? Prayers and prayer requests? Personal testimonies? Do you just sit there and try to absorb the scraps while men reap the spiritual benefits of free speech in a spiritual community?

b) What constitutes a "church" by Paul's standards here? A straight-up Sunday morning worship service? The more casual Wednesday evening gathering? A Bible-study group? A prayer meeting? When can we talk and when can't we? Would it even be possible to learn if we *never* asked questions of teachers and other educated individuals (that is, are we seriously supposed to save all questions for our husbands when we get home, though our husbands may not know the right answers)?

c) Disgraceful? Is it really such a shame to all if I open my mouth in the house of God because I am female? What does this mean to my entire existence? Why would it be disgraceful, and what does this mean for women everywhere? How does God view us? Why did God make us, if we must remain silent and in submission in the one building that is supposed to be a sanctuary and place of peace?

Again, there are interpretations. Some speak of historical context; others take it literally but are left with only conjecture when it comes to the details, much less the problems that arise from such a practice. One opinion even says that those lines in 1 Corinthians 14 were inserted at a later date by a hand other than Paul's. Many simply ignore those particular instructions. They seem to get on fine, with no disgrace to deal with, but in a way that's beside the point.

I don't like not knowing the rules. Even an unpleasant truth can be accepted if I at least know how to carry it out. I don't like ambiguity and half-baked instructions.

This was the kind of thing that caused me much pain when I was Christian before. This kind of thing has returned quickly and as if it never left off.

I wish it were just about Jesus Christ and nothing else.